Barclays Fantasy Football 2014/15 – Top Tips

A

las, from a league table perspective, Barclays Fantasy Premier League (FPL) 2013/14 was a disappointing season for me. I say from a league table perspective as points-wise it was my highest total to date. It would seem that the general standard of FPL play is improving, although the particularly high points hauls of 2013/14 probably owed more to the performance of Luis Suarez – glad to see the back of him!

My stubborn, contrarian streak negatively impacted my performance last season (in some seasons it has aided me). Sticking with Van Persie when he was fit, thereby missing out on some hefty Suarez points hauls, and ignoring the Ramsey bandwagon, hurt me. For instance, in one gameweek alone I missed out on approximately 50 points after Suarez’s heroics against Norwich.

As the last two seasons have been relatively lean, I have revised my FPL ‘Top Tips’ for 2014/15. I now accept that incurring points deductions in FPL is not the biggest sin and possibly has some merit, particularly early on in the season and in joining the big club player bandwagons as demonstrated by Suarez, Y.Toure and Ramsey last season. Still, my contrarian outlook remains and I like to think my misjudgements of last season have sharpened up my analysis. I hope you find my recommendations below helpful.

A Day at the Cricket - MCC v The Rest of the World

I

was a little bit apprehensive before the MCC v Rest of the World at Lord’s. I’m not normally one for friendly sporting fixtures and I feared that it might be light entertainment at its worst with an ambience bordering on the inane, hyperactive, jocularity of Question of Sport. Thankfully, none of the cricketers made any concerted efforts to mimic Matt Dawson, playing the game in a semi-serious manner. There was even some scuttling about on the boundary led by the blooming Tamim Iqbal and everyone’s favourite, Kevin Pietersen. Most of the retired cohort looked in pretty good shape with no one yet reaching the comfortable proportions of an Inzamam-ul-haq, although Murali seemed to be developing a slight paunch. Brian Lara kept the amateur spirit alive when he failed to make up the five yards necessary to take a dolly at short mid-on after a thick edge from Yuraj Singh.

Rodgers: 4-2-3-1 is, like, so 2012/13

O

n 1 June 2012 Brendan Rodgers was unveiled as Liverpool’s new manager. His appointment did not exercise the bulk of Liverpool fans. Many felt sheepish about King Kenny’s departure; others deemed him callow, ungarlanded with silverware, not a big enough name for a club of Liverpool’s stature*; many would have preferred ‘Rafa’ Benitez. I would have liked to have seen Jamie Carragher appointed as player manager for a giggle.

With a weak mandate, and inheriting a squad versed in the ‘swing the ball about’ culture of King Kenny, Rodgers’s task in reversing Liverpool’s downward trend was bordering on the herculean. And from a strictly outcomes focused, league table perspective, it appeared in the initial months that the task might be a bit too tricky for Brendan. Indeed, Liverpool were languishing in mid-table.  The fans were disgruntled and the media unimpressed.  Both were particularly vociferous in their criticism of Rodgers’s decision to send Any Carroll on loan to West Ham with a forward line lacking in numbers after Borini’s injury. Then came the unfortunate documentary (marketed for a US audience and the worst decision of the current Liverpool management) portraying Rodgers as not too dissimilar to David Brent. Personally, I don’t think that I would ever be bosom pals with a man possessing a self-portrait at his family home. Anyway, I digress: mild egomania is a pre-requisite of being a successful football manager. In fact, omit ‘mild’.

Barclays Fantasy Football 2013/14 – Top Tips

B

arclays Fantasy Football 2012/13 was my annus horribilis. I should have known that my egotism and vanity in labelling myself the Warren Buffett of the Barclays Fantasy Premier League would come back to bite. Actually divine retribution had nothing to do with it; rather, the astonishing individual performances of Van Persie, Michu and Bale, all of whom I ignored for too long, overly deterred by their hefty values.

2012/13 was certainly a year that favoured concentrating your resources on a few individuals and less on a balanced approach. Defences were particularly poor with four point clean sheets markedly reduced amongst the big four teams. It also favoured the aggressive players willing to lose four points in transfers to a greater extent than previous seasons.

Anyway, although my 2012/13 was not great by my own Buffett standards, being the saddo and egotist that I am, I felt the need to reveal my 'Top Tips' for 2013/14 (not that different from 2012/13); adherence to which I reckon will stand you in good stead throughout the season.

Should Wenger unlock Arsenal's war chest for 2013/14?

I

f you're Alan Shearer, Alan Hansen or the perma-tanned, newly buffed up, terrified of old age, Gary Lineker then the answer to the question is yes siree. After all 'Arsenal have 'NOT WON ANY TROPHIES FOR EIGHT YEARS'. Yes that's eight years: an age; a lifetime; an eternity. For many – not just the Match of the Day Holy Trinity – this state of affairs simply cannot continue and Arsenal must spend big to win competitions again.

Now, I'm not overly keen on the use of the phrase 'Arsenal have not won any trophies for eight years', which you might guessed, as it implies that Arsenal have underachieved in this period. I find this odd when you consider that Arsenal's net spend on transfers (not player wages admittedly) over the past eight years has been just £9 million; far less than the two Manchester clubs and Chelsea and less than the likes of Aston Villa and Sunderland. In fact on a transfer spend to league position ratio Arsenal have overachieved not underachieved. Mr Moneyball Billy Beane is impressed!

Sir Alex Ferguson's Dying Glory

L

ike many across the country I'm not particularly fond of Sir Alex Ferguson. This wasn't always the case. Whilst I've never been particularly fond of his feverish chewing of Wrigley's Extras; his lack of graciousness in defeat; and the sense I have that his views of family and loyalty are not that far removed from Don Corleone, I used to be able to gloss over these traits and focus on the fact that he had an overwhelmingly positive impact on English football in the mid- to late-1990s. I saw him as a footballing visionary who challenged conventional wisdom (well, Alan Hansen's dull-witted assertion: one of many) that 'you could not win anything with kids' and helped bring English football clubs back to the vanguard of European club football. I was also captivated by his Manchester United team of the late 1990s and early 2000s which played with a swashbuckling majesty that was beautiful to watch and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on those wonderful Wednesday Champions League nights.

Barclays Fantasy Football – Updated Starting Line-ups – Transfer Window

U

nfortunately, the opening three weeks have been distinctly unfruitful for me in Barclays Fantasy Football. Rooney and Taylor (Neil) picked up injuries; Clark was sent off; and Kagawa and Hazard confounded my prediction that they would need a period of adjustment to the rough and tumble of the Premier League. Instead, Shinji and 'Azard' (I love the pronounciation; I imagine myself on a Stella Artois advert behaving in louche manner when I say it) have gone about their work like billy-o and established themselves as the principle inventive fulcrums for their two clubs.

These misfortunes have forced me into the desperate act of 'whacking out' my wildcard, which has given me no pleasure whatsoever as this is not something that should used readily. Certainly not after three weeks. Indeed, in my previous Barclays Fantasy Football seasons I played my wildcard around the 30-week mark. I felt forced to play it at this early juncture as, without losing points in transfers, I would have not reached my desired line-up until around the week 8 mark – a little too long to wait. Of course, I still hold myself in greater esteem than all those idiotic, short-termists who have already used their wildcard! 

Barclays Fantasy Football 2012/13 – Top Tips

A

s I hold myself out to be the Warren Buffet of the Barclays Fantasy Premier League, I thought that it was only fair to pass on my wisdom in this arena to each and every one of you. Actually, the real reason is that I need another outlet to satisfy my vanity. The Ten Commandments of Barclays Fantasy Football are as follows:

1. Do not waste points on transfers barring exceptional circumstances

I'm always amazed at the large number of people who employ this tactic believing that they are guaranteed to hit the jackpot and score a hundred-plus points if only they could have a particular line-up that week. The only certainty is that you will lose four points, which really adds up during the course of the season if done on a regular basis. 

Euro 2012: England Does Not Expect

A

fter England's exit at the last World Cup in 2010 against Germany I was rather cross, which my stepmother and jaded Father found quite amusing. God I was cross. So cross was I that I proclaimed that English football was rotten to the core and could only be rescued by a wholesale shift in culture: one that rewarded technical expertise instead of 'commitment'. I even stated that the old guard: Terry, Lampard, Ferdinand, Gerrard and Ashley Cole should be jettisoned immediately for moral reasons (I deemed them to be pretty odious certainly Ashley Cole and Terry) and to usher in a younger generation.

Unfortunately (fortunately is probably more accurate), the only people who heard these recommendations were my Father and stepmother and a few friends. Fabio Capello didn't as he went on to field England's best available players in the Euro 2012 qualification campaign: Terry/Ferdinand, Gerrard and Lampard instead of blooding youngsters much to my chagrin.  My crossness mellowed into apathy as I watched only one of England's qualification matches: the 1-0 win against Wales, reinforcing my apathy and disillusionment.

Beautiful Barca

W

ell, it was a bit of a spanking wasn't it? No not Ryan Giggs enjoying the back of Imogen Thomas' hand, but the UEFA Champions League final. 3-1! Could have quite as easily have been 6-1 given Barcelona's overwhelming superiority. I don't know what the final possession statistic was in favour of Barcelona (it felt like 90%:10%), but I do know that Manchester United had only one shot on target from which they scored and no corners. These are the statistics that you would expect to see from a FA Cup contest between a Premier League heavyweight and a non-league minnow — not the Champions League final!

Bizarrely, Barcelona's dominance seemed to come as surprise to some. The deluded, distorted pre-match hype with every Alan, Mark and Lee offering his 'considered' opinion gave the impression that Manchester United were on a par with Barcelona and that the final was a 50:50 contest. Somehow the wily Sir Alex would fashion 'a result' for the Red Devils, although no one said with any degree of cogency how this would happen. Many said that the fact that Messi had never scored in England was a good omen. Then there was Harry Redknapp offering his nugget of wisdom by saying that 'United are capable of scoring goals'. Roy Keane even barked 'never bet against United'! I did, snapping up the extraordinarily generous 21:20 offering from William Hill for Barcelona to beat Manchester United in normal time. Thank you Mr Hill.

The Barclays Premier League Club-by-Club Half Term Report 2010/11 Season

F

orgive me. My original intention was to submit this report actually at the half-way point of the season (game 19), but turkey sweats, Will drafting and the common cold have reduced my output of late.

What a season it has been thus far! We have a genuine five 'horse' title race, teams playing beautiful football and thriving, and Blackpool giving hope to just about every football league club that miracles do happen. Maybe Ian Holloway's 'cheeky bid' for Tevez will come off!

My report aims to give an in-depth analysis of each club and predict where they will finish at the end of the season. For fun I have also detailed my first XI for each club, which, I would like to add is not necessarily the best indicator of a club's likely success. As Chelsea fans will tell you squad depth is key.

In such a closely fought league who wins it and who goes down might well be determined by which clubs are the most/least fortunate with injuries. If Modric and Tevez suffered cruciate knee ligament damage Spurs and Man City's title credentials would be severely weakened (Man City's less so with the arrival of Dzeko, although it will no doubt take Dzeko several months to adapt to the Premier League). Who buys who this month, of course, will also influence the final league table positions.